superlockedhogwartianinthetardis:

keepcalm-andpartyyon:

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Two quotation marks “Walk into” a bar.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

The bar was walked into by a passive voice.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

THANKS FOR TEACHING ME THINGS THAT ENGLISH CLASS HAS FAILED TO ACKNOWLEDGE

(Source: totheend-oftheuniverse, via kiss-me-im-actually-irish)

turntable-thoughts:

glittergooch:

I hate when black clothes are a slightly different black and don’t match

we joke but this is an actual thing

(Source: daddydom420, via kiss-me-im-actually-irish)

yzma:

the chicken from season 1 is more important than larry

(Source: maryjblige, via injuries)

dadoodledi:

iwantsauce:

thisbookofshadows:

barackfuckingobama:

so i bought this ring that has a little hinge and it opens up to a tiny secret box hidden under the gem and my mom told me that women used to put poison in it and then SLIP POISON INTO PEOPLES DRINKS and i was like NUH UH THIS CANT BE REAL and i just googled it and guys this is like a real thing

people are psycho

I have a few of those. I think they’re really neat!

I already knew this thanks to a special little book dadoodledi
iwantsauce HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHMYGOSH NONNA!!!!!:):):)

(Source: samandriel, via injuries)

barebackinq:

a strip club but instead of naked women its cute dogs that you give dog treats to for them to do tricks

(via 50shadezofcarter)